Monday, September 29, 2008

The Ho Boy Interview...

Ho Ho – Okay, let’s get right to it. Why did you decide to put on the Filthy Fifty October Ho Down?
Ho Boy -I didn’t. I’m just the mascot for the event and now, evidently, the spokesboy.

Ho Ho – Oh, well, tell us how you come to be associated with the ride.
Ho Boy – I know Frank. We met back when I was working for The Cowslingers. He, Leo Love and I hung out a bit after a few Cowslinger shows. Leo’s was the drummer.

Ho Ho – I think everyone in the audience knows who Leo is.
Ho Boy – Well excuse me. Anyway, here’s a sample of the work I did for them.

Ho Ho – Very impressive. “For losers like you”. A unique way to refer to one’s fan base.
Ho Boy – I do what I’m told. I think that was Greg Miller’s idea. Greg was the lead singer.

Ho Ho – I think everyone in the audience knows who Greg is.
Ho Boy – Oh yes, right.

Ho Ho – So back to the ride. What can you tell us about it?
Ho Boy – I believe it’s about 50 miles of bicycle riding.

Ho Ho – Do you know the origin for the idea of the ride?
Ho Boy – Frank said he was inspired by the Dirtier Dozen ride, which he’s ridden the last two years. He figured, why not do something like that here to showcase the lovely Beaver Valley Area.

Ho Ho - Why is it called the Filthy Fifty October Ho Down?
Ho Boy – Everyone will be filthy, the ride will be about fifty miles long and it'll take place in October.

Ho Ho – What about “Ho” part?
Ho Boy – Frank said it would be both a “Happy On Road” and a “Happy Off Road” ride.

Ho Ho – Shouldn’t it then be called a “HOR Down”?
Ho Boy – I don’t think Frank liked the sound of that. I think there should be a hyphen there. “Happy On-Road”, “Happy Off-Road”.

Ho Ho – I see. Very well. So everyone should be prepared for off-road riding?
Ho Boy – Are you drunk?

Ho Ho – No.
Ho Boy – That’s too Bad. Why the “X” on the bag? Are the contents why you are called “Happy”?

Ho Ho – Um, let’s just get back on track here.
Ho Boy – It’s your interview.

Ho Ho - Will there be other activities besides bicycle riding?
Ho Boy - Absolutely, Frank wants to showcase the best of the Beaver Valley Establishments.

Ho Ho - Define “establishments”.
Ho Boy - Taverns.

Ho Ho - Oh, so there will be alcohol consumption.
Ho Boy – Duh.

Ho Ho - Moving along, any other activities for the day.
Ho Boy - Yes, but the activities will be dictated by a number of factors and I’m not a liberty to divulge them at this time.

Ho Ho – Will the ride go on rain or shine?
Ho Boy – Yes.

Ho Ho - Does the ride cost anything?
Ho Boy – The ride itself doesn’t cost anything, but if a participant wants to partake in any extracurricular enjoyment, I’d advise bringing a few bucks.

Ho Ho – Define “A few bucks”.
Ho Boy – I don’t know, it’s up to the individual to figure that out. I suppose we’ll all know more after the ride is over.

Ho Ho – Well there you have it folks, barely any worthwhile information, but hey, I tried. Ho Boy, is there anything else you’d like to say?
Ho Boy – Where are your friends?

Ho Ho – You mean these guys?

Ho Boy – Yes, they look like fun, why don’t you bring them to the ride?
Ho Ho – I’m afraid they're not very athletic.

Ho Boy – It’s more about fun.
Ho Ho – I’ll see what I can do.

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